Quick aside first: if this was shared with you, please know I wrote this for myself and nobody else. Ideally, this is just a thoughtful article to get folks thinking about things in their lives and is worth sharing. That’s what I’m hoping for at least!
Is it just me, or is happiness one of those elusive things… something that comes and goes, or maybe leaves you feeling like you’re coming up short? A roller coaster of highs and lows, or maybe even just something that you never can quite grasp?
I would like to make a slightly bold statement: we all have an imperative to greedily seek out the things that make us happy.
Not to the detriment of ourselves or others – in some cases, service to others is what makes us happy. Simply put, I want us to begin (or continue) the avid pursuit of achieving our own happiness. Let’s face it: nobody is going to find it for you and nobody is going to lay it in your hands.
I mean that with all kindness =]
Plotting a Course
What do we do about this? How do we approach this? The one bit of wisdom I can eke out of this concept (seeking happiness), is that if you’re not where you want to be, if you don’t have the things in life that you want, chances are high you’re going to have to do something you’ve never done before to get there. A fresh approach, taking with you all the learnings of before to achieve something closer than you’ve ever been. The great climb to a genuine smile!
I’m writing this right now because I currently find myself in a situation where I have an infinite of options in front of me, and I’m not sure what the next step is. I’m not quite terrified by this prospect though. I look at it like this: if you find yourself in the middle of the ocean and aren’t sure which way will get you to land, the best course of action is to pick a best guess direction and go.
Is that the best we can do though? Does it all boil down to a good guess, a bit of luck, and maybe even a little good ol’ fashioned gumption? A little bit every day or haymakers until we have to stop to catch our proverbial breath? This is starting to sound like the ultimate showdown of the Turtle Vs. the Hare. Perhaps there’s wisdom there (#UnawarePoet).
Necessity for Adapting
Life at times can feel like it’s nothing but curve balls and monkey wrenches… so expect that! Trials will be had, hurdles appear… the obstacles that we anticipate seem to never happen, and yet what we least expect generally occurs (speaking as a developer – hah! Damn that left field!). So let’s expect that in the course of our lives we have to roll with the punches and adapt.
So that’s it? We plot a course, make a plan, execute it, and adapt as the situation changes? I suppose so… then when we come up short (which is bound to happen – monkey wrench incoming!), we adapt. We rinse and repeat, starting back at step one – plot a new course with all of our learnings from our previous attempts, and press on.
I think the point here is: don’t let a little thing like failure slow you down. When beating your head against the wall doesn’t get you through it, try to find a way around it – or at least find a method that isn’t quite as head-trauma inducing!
What can I say? I’m a caring guy like that =]
Simple Concept, Not Simple
Ugh! You know what though?! That sounds like a lot of work. A lot of heartache. A lot of struggle and pain. A lot of bullshit. But then again, you tell me – are you where you want to be in life? Maybe there is something to be said for finding happiness without finding land — in the middle of that ocean, so to speak. Maybe…
Yet I find myself wanting… friends, family (especially one of my own), connection, a loving relationship, success, happiness, trust, and purpose! I do know where I’m wealthy – my friends and family. I’ve had success and found software development to be my craft of choice – something I’m pretty good at!
Hold the phone! Did I really just confess that what I’m seeking right now is the lady of my dreams? Whoops. Eh… I’m ok with being vulnerable to the entire internet. Pshhh! It’s just the internet! Joking aside – I think we could all be a little more honest with ourselves and each other.
So let’s do this! What is it that you want in life? What steps can you take to get yourself closer to realizing that dream? What’s in your way to getting there now? How can we get there?
I’d like to apply one last parting concept from software development to life. Be forewarned, this one is taken from agile (hey! don’t hate!): whenever you start any endeavor, you’re starting from nothing. Effectively, you’re at your dumbest point! Give yourself the space and a little kindness to muck things up a bit – because you will – and if it’s worth it, you might muck it up a few times before you get there.
Learn from those moments, adjust course, and press on. Rinse and repeat my friends, rinse and repeat!
At the end of the day, I mainly wrote this for myself. Don’t let that stop you if you’re feeling compelled – please throw some comments below! Tell me (and everyone else for that matter) if something here resonated with you! Proclaim the things you seek! Share your plan or your wisdom! Alternatively, you could just enumerate the ways I sound like a looney person or lack solid conclusions in all of this whimsy! All is welcome.
And yes, lastly, I hope you find what you’re looking for – even if it’s just the contentment of being right there in the middle of the sea =]